Red's Impostor Survival Guide
alternately known as Stayin' Alive
Hello. I'm Red, and this is my Impostor Survival Guide!
(This site is best viewed with VCR OSD Mono installed)
This is the page where I teach you how to survive an impostor situation.
why should I trust you?
I'm an expert on this! (yes, I have been shot)
You really should.
No, I mean SERIOUSLY, you really don't have much choice.
part one: how 2 stay alive
living through impostor situations can* be stressful but will most certainly result in success if you follow my simple 3 step process:
step 1: investigate
search for all the leads you can on the impostor and use the CCSOMLTV to your advantage.
step 2: interrogate
ask questions and get answers. if they seems suspicious and shady, they're suspicious and shady, report them.
part two: voting
this part is the worst because you can't trust anyone.
voting is hard and sometimes downright depressing. if you have evidence against your friend and it's 100% proof: they aren't you're friend. they're here to kill you and your real friends. sometimes there are multiple impostors. good luck, because those scenarios are 100% endeadening.
don't hold back - just vote. if you skip, you contribute to the downfall of the ship and your crew. they're counting on you just as much as you count on them.
part three: close encounters of the worst kind
if you encounter an impostor, here's whatcha do:
step one: follow orders. you don't have much of a chance if you're openly trying to rebel!
step two: find the PERFECT OPPORTUNITY to escape. you only have a few minutes of time, so be diligent and pay very close attention.
step three: warn others. you don't want your crewmates to get pwn'd.
if you are wounded:
RUN. GET TO SAFETY AS QUICK AS YOU CAN. Most imposters carry both
(a) a short range weapon (a dagger, a shortsword, a cleaver, a... tennis racket???) and
(b) a long range weapon (a pistol, very very long nunchuks???, and a... tennis racket!?)
so you have to run as QUICKLY as HUMANLY POSSIBLE.
part four: rescue
getting rescue is the most stressful part. if you're face-to-face with the impostor and about to die, YELL, SCREAM, and PEE.
YELL: attracts attention.
SCREAM: the "i didn't just stub my toe, i actually really need help."
PEE: wittle baby
if you hear a YELL followed by a SCREAM and see URINE, hELP THEM! (you can see, right?)
part five: emergency rescue vehicles
unfortunately; many impostors have fake ERVs which can be used to uhhhh... yunno.
but: most real ERVs will have glow-in-the-space lights on them and will also flash very brightly. pay very close attention.
hop in once you're sure: paramedics will help the wounded and lawstronauts will charge in and protect everyone that's obviously not an impostor.
part six: what next?
what you do next is up to you: will you choose to fly again, and risk it all? or maybe never do it again and just hang out in the ERSFTIWADASPIG spacecraft.
all you know is that you survived. that's what really counts.
we're hosted by SeaCity!
hey, it's purple, i'm adding the "have a good day message":
have a good day and enojoirthtoheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeedsxc